


of all my secrets, you are the most (bitter)sweet

by jugheadsucks



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Mike Wheeler, F/M, Gay Will Byers, Lesbian Max Mayfield, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-05 22:58:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12804216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jugheadsucks/pseuds/jugheadsucks
Summary: Will Byers was sixteen when he realised that he had been in love with Mike Wheeler since he was ten.He kept it to himself, and eventually him and all his friends grew up and went off to college. But in the summer after their first year, they're back in Hawkins, and he doesn't know if he can hide it anymore.He doesn't know if he wants to.





	1. what family actually means

**Author's Note:**

> drag me to HELL i should not be starting another multi chapter fic but i just HAD to post this, i am in love with these boys!!!!!!!!!
> 
> so this takes place in an au where none of the events of stranger things happened, they all just grew up together in hawkins, with none of that #sharedtrauma!
> 
> the main title is my own, but all the chapter titles are going to be named after sense8 episode titles!!!! because i love sense8 and it has the coolest episode titles!!
> 
> i hope you enjoy this!!!! please let me know what you think!!!

Will Byers was sixteen when he realised that he had been in love with Mike Wheeler since he was ten.

It wasn’t a particularly _revealing_ revelation, because deep down a part of him knew. Deep down, a part of him had always known, known that he wasn’t normal in some way, that he didn’t look at girls the way he was supposed to, the way his friends did and the way Jonathan did. That he looked at boys the way he was supposed to look at girls, and every time he dwelt on it, it made him feel sick.

He knew what people said about boys like him.

But Mike never said anything like that. Neither did Lucas, or Dustin. At first, he thought they were just too young but all of a sudden they were sixteen and none of them ever made any comments about that kind of thing. They all silently acknowledged that Will didn’t talk about girls like they did, but they never made him tell them why.

It was cold the day he realised. November was coming to an end and the ground was coated in a thick layer of frost as he and Mike rode their bikes at top speed back to the Wheeler’s house. He had his scarf pulled up over his nose and mouth to protect his face from the wind, which he thought made him look like a cool, intrepid adventurer. He figured most other people just thought he looked like a loser.

When they arrived at the large, white house, they dumped their bikes and entered through the door to the basement, just as they always had done.

Mike pulled his coat and scarf off and flopped down onto the sofa, face still tinged with red from the cold, breathing slightly ragged.

“I hope it snows,” he said, looking over at Will and smiling as he shed his top couple of layers, “I fucking love snow.”

“I know you do,” Will replied, small smile on his face, “but I freaking hate it.”

He moved over to sit next to his best friend on the couch.

“You’re gonna have to start swearing one day you know, Byers. Me and Dustin will make you!”

“Yeah well, you’ve both been trying for years already so…” Will replied.

It was a totally inconsequential moment when he looks back on it, but at the time, it was like his entire world collapsed.

Mike Wheeler giggled and looked over at him, long eyelashes blinking, cheeks tinged pink from the cold and a soft, warm smile on his face and just like that, Will Byers was _gone_. It’s like in that one moment, everything in his life shifted a little to the left and a huge, previously hidden part of his brain was thrusted to the forefront.

His heart fluttered when he looked at Mike smiling at him like that, his skin tingled whenever Mike’s hand accidentally brushed against his, his chest ached whenever Mike was sad.

He had no experience of love, no experiences of crushes even, but from everything books and movies had taught him, in that moment? He knew that what settled in his chest when he looked over at his best friend was love, and not just the kind you’re supposed to feel for friends.

Oh _shit_.

His face must have given away the fear and guilt he felt in that moment because Mike’s brow furrowed and he placed a hand on Will’s shoulder.

“Hey man, you okay?” he asked, concerned. Will nodded.

“Yeah I um, I just realised I haven’t finished that essay for English yet and it’s due in two days.”

Mike laughed.

“You are a strange one, Will Byers! Don’t sweat it though, I haven’t even started it.”

***

Ever since then, everything was different for Will. He didn’t think that anyone had noticed, but just within himself, something had changed. He silently acknowledged that he was gay. He even said it out loud once, whispered under the covers in the dark when he was sure he could hear the sounds of Jonathan’s snores through the wall.

He kept it to himself for years, not choosing to tell even his family or closest friends until just 2 weeks before he left for college.

He spent way too much time simply deliberating on how to do it. Does he tell them one by one? Or in a group? Can he get them all in one place to tell them together? If he tells them individually, how does he choose who to tell first? Or last?

He overthinks it way too much until he decides that he’d get them all together, in one big group, as a sort of “the kids are going off to college” farewell party. So that’s how they all came to be sat in rusting garden chairs in the backyard of the Byers home, watching Hopper and Joyce argue over how best to barbeque underneath the cloudy, humid August sky.

Dustin was talking to Steve, Nancy and Jonathan, retelling some epic adventure he’d had while Lucas sat next to him, rolling his eyes and waiting for the perfect moment to interrupt and correct him. Nancy’s hand was intertwined with Jonathan’s and Will knew somehow that the sight of it no longer made Steve’s chest ache. He smiled at the thought.

Max was sat on the grass leaning against Lucas’ legs, orange hair blowing slightly in the wind as she tried to hide how much she was laughing at Dustin’s story. She’d told the group a year ago that she was a lesbian, but her and Lucas had still maintained a fierce and seemingly unbreakable bond. Sometimes she looked at Will like she knew, like somehow she could just sense it. His mum and Jonathan looked at him like that sometimes too, and it filled him with a nervewracking kind of relief.

If they already knew but they were still here, maybe they wouldn’t hate him that much after all.

Eleven and Mike were sat next to Max on the grass, shoulders just barely touching. El would smile to herself whenever Mike interrupted Dustin to try and make him tell the story “the right way”. His Dungeon Master instincts had never really faded, even after the D&D manual began to collect dust in the Wheelers basement.

Will’s chest felt warm and light as he looked around at the people scattered in front of him. He loved them all so much he thought his heart would burst, but then his eyes became drawn to the shine of Mike’s hair in the weak sunlight, the way he smiled, fondly but annoyed, at Dustin’s words, his right hand playing lightly with the grass as it rested by his side.

Suddenly, he remembered why he’d gathered them all there, and that weight in his chest and the waves in his stomach came crashing back down.

He realised that if he didn’t do it now, he never would. He cleared his throat as loudly as he could manage considering how dry his mouth was, but even then only Mike, El, Max and Steve looked over at him.

He clearly looked as nervous as he felt because they all furrowed their brows in concern.

“Will, are you okay buddy?” Steve asked, causing Nancy and Jonathan to look over at him too, Dustin soon following suit.

Will’s heart began to pound in his chest as his stomach started to writhe. He suddenly felt far too hot under the overcast August sky, his hands rubbing together in an attempt to comfort himself.

“Yeah I uh- I’m fine I just have something I want to… talk to you guys about.”

Jonathan shot him a look which he knew meant “are you okay?” and Will nodded, before asking Jonathan to call his mum and Hopper over so he could talk to everyone.

“Will? Honey? Are you feeling okay?” his mum asked as soon as was she near him. He laughed lightly and nodded, and her face softened.

They all fell silent around him and he realised they were waiting for him to speak. He looked around at all of them slowly and all he saw in their faces was patience and concern and love and he suddenly felt his chest lighten.

They all loved him just as much as he loved them. It was going to be okay.

“I um… I wasn’t sure how to do this but I thought I’d just tell you all together, it’s easier that way,” he said, as steady as he could, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I’m gay.”

He had just said the two most important words he would probably ever utter in his life and his heart was doing backflips inside his chest.

Everyone around him was silent and he began to panic, but when he opened his eyes, they were all looking at him with warm smiles on their faces and a shine in their eyes.

The first one to speak was Joyce.

“Oh Will,” she said, hugging him tightly, “I’m so proud of you! And you know I’ll always love you, no matter what, okay?” he nodded against her shoulder as tears began to well up in his eyes.

The next couple of minutes were a blur of everyone hugging him and congratulating him. Max gave him a soft and knowing smile and Steve hugged him a little too tight and Jonathan straight up cried as he hugged him. Lucas hit Dustin round the head after Dustin exclaimed that he “just knew it! I knew it!” and they both told him how happy they were for him. El teared up as she silently squeezed him tight, conveying her emotion through her actions as she usually did.

But out of everyone’s reaction, out of all of their outpouring of love and acceptance, nothing made Will’s chest ache quite like the warm smile Mike gave before he pulled him in for a hug.

“You’re brave, you know that Will Byers? My best friend is braver than I will ever be.”

His words nearly made Will sob into his shoulder but he managed to bite back the tears.

After Mike pulled back, he looked around at them all, so grateful and thankful for every single one of them.

“Thank you guys, I- thank you.”

They all smiled at him, and then Hopper jumped and ran back over to the barbeque.

“Oh fuck, the damn burgers are burning!” he yelled, frantically trying to salvage them. They all laughed and just like that, everything was normal again.

***

Almost a year had passed since that day in his back garden, but to Will, it felt like a decade.

Him and the Party had all started college, scattered across the US. Will had gotten into the Rhode Island School of Design to study Illustration. He had cried for hours when he got his acceptance letter, so happy he thought he could burst into pieces at any moment. His mum and Jonathan had cried too, looking at him with so much pride in their eyes. Rhode Island wasn’t the other side of the country, but it was still a long way away from home, which was enough to make Will’s stomach ache with nerves. Despite his fear, and missing all of his friends and family, Will had loved his first year and he was proud of himself for taking such a huge leap.

Max had returned to her native California and taken Lucas with her, even though they settled at opposite ends of the state. Will heard from them both almost daily, and he still felt just as close to them as he always had, thousands of miles of distance be damned. Max constantly made his brain hurt talking about her Philosophy course at Stanford, a subject Will could never seem to comprehend. Occasionally she would tell him about a girl she met and had a slight crush on and would excitedly ask Will if he’d met any cute boys lately. Every time she asked him that, it made his heart feel like it was floating in his chest. It was so comforting to have someone to talk to who truly _understood_ what he was going through.

Lucas often made him nostalgic for AV club and Mr. Clarke’s science class by gushing about his Computer Engineering and Science course at USC. Will could tell he was studying something he was truly passionate about, and he was so happy for his friend. He bitched about the Los Angeles weather but Will knew he loved it really, even if it took some adjusting to after living in Hawkins all his life.

Whenever they could, Lucas and Max would meet up and post obnoxiously long Snapchat stories of whatever they were getting up to, which always made Will’s chest feel warm and fuzzy. Will only managed to see them both at the holidays and on spring break and he missed them dearly.

Eleven wasn’t too far away from home, one state over from Indiania in Illinois, at Northwestern. She’d deliberated for a long time on what to study, finally deciding on an Anthropology major and Creative Writing minor, and Will thought she seemed genuinely happy. They spoke everyday, having become incredibly close after Hopper and Joyce had gotten married and they’d practically become siblings. They’d each flown to see each other and had jumped at the chance to show each other round their universities and the cities they were living in, knowing it meant so much to both of them.

Dustin was the only one who had stayed in Indiana, moving to Lafayette to attend Purdue and study Microbiology. He also made Will miss Mr. Clarke’s middle school science class when he went on long rants on the phone about whatever he was studying that week. He and Eleven met up quite often, considering they were fairly close to each other, and Will had managed to see him when he went down to spend the weekend with her.

Jonathan and Nancy were both in the fourth and final year of their degrees, and were two of the closest people to Will in terms of distance. Jonathan was studying Photography and Imaging at NYU, his dream university. Will remembered the day he had gotten the acceptance letter, how happy he’d been and how proud his mum had looked, they’d all held each other and cried, overwhelmed by happiness, for what felt like an age. Every person who had ever told Johnathan he was a freak, or he would never do anything with his life, had been wrong. Will supposed they had been wrong about him, too.

Jonathan was close enough that Will could see him fairly regularly, which he appreciated greatly, especially when he started to feel homesick.

Nancy had gotten into Yale, studying Political Science with a minor in Gender and Sexuality Studies. Even though everyone was so proud when she got in, no one was really surprised; Nancy was always headed for greatness. She was also close enough to both Johnathan and Will to see them both regularly, which Will knows made things easier between the two of them.

By the time he was riding in the car home with Jonathan that summer, Nancy and Jonathan had both graduated with honours.

And then there was Mike. Will had been sick with nerves that Mike would go off to Los Angeles or Seattle or even further away and he would hardly ever see him again, something that Will didn’t think he could deal with. Despite his fear, luck was on his side and Mike chose to attend NYU, just like Jonathan. This made Will’s stomach churn and flutter, just knowing that Mike was always only three hours away. Mike was studying Psychology, which Will could tell he was loving more and more by the day. He texted Will every day and made sure to call him a few times a week, and the consistency with which he stayed in touch meant a lot to Will. He knew Mike didn’t want to lose him almost as much as he didn’t want to lose Mike.

Despite them only being three hours apart, Will hadn’t seen Mike since March. The other boy went road tripping with a bunch of his friends for spring break, and they’d both been so busy towards the end of the year they couldn’t spare the time to travel and see each other. Will didn’t want to admit it to himself, but it really stung that Mike had chosen to spend his spring break with his new friends rather than with him or the rest of the Party.

He was so nervous and eager to see his best friend again, his heartbeat sped up every time he thought about it, about hugging him and hearing his laugh, about sitting quitely with him while he smoked on the roof of the Wheeler’s home.

About spending the entire summer by his side.

Jonathan nudged him from where he was sat in the driver’s seat, still keeping his eyes on the road.

“You zoned out, you okay?” he asked. Will nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, just thinking about how much has changed this past year.” Jonathan let out a breathy laugh.

“Tell me about it.” Will laughed before he leaned over and turned the music up, Chris Cornell’s voice radiating like light throughout the car.

***

It was almost dark by the time Jonathan pulled up outside the Byers house, Joyce running out almost immediately to greet her boys.

“Oh, look at you both! Will, have you grown? I could swear you’ve grown…” They both laughed as she pulled them in for a tight hug.

“I’ve missed you both so much,” she whispered quietly as she held them close.

“I missed you too, mum,” they both replied in almost perfect unison.

Hopper and Eleven had followed Joyce outside, standing on the porch and smiling at the scene in front of them. Hopper pulled them both into an awkward hug, ruffling Will’s hair as he pulled away and muttering about how proud of both of them he was. Eleven hugged Will tight and whispered nothing but “welcome home” into his ear, something which calmed him more than he imagined it would.

Once everyone had said hello and Jonathan and Will had dragged all of their stuff inside, they all gathered in the kitchen for a late dinner.

“I know you boys won’t have eaten properly on the road, and El didn’t get back long before you, so I had to try and cook for you!” Joyce had explained as they all walked into the kitchen.

“You know you didn’t have to, ma,” Jonathan said, helping Will lay the table for the five of them.

“You know full well that I did have to, Jonathan Byers! My boys and my El are home for the summer!” They all smiled at that.

Will felt so happy to be home, knowing he had passed his first year of college and that he could relax and spend his summer with the people he cared about most.

“And before you ask,” Joyce said, smiling over at Will, “yes you can go over to the Wheeler’s after you’ve eaten, Eleven already told us you’re all meeting up there tonight.” Will turned, genuinely shocked, to look at Eleven.

“A reunion, of sorts,” is all she said, a soft smile on her face. Will smiled and nodded, praying that no one else in the room could hear his heart rate speed up.

After dinner, Jonathan drove them both over the to Wheeler’s, walking over to the front door as Will and El headed for the basement, not even making it halfway there before everyone came running out to meet them.

Max enclosed Will in a hug soon as she saw him, grinning like a maniac. After she pulled away and quickly asked how he was, Lucas was pulling him in for hug number two, with Dustin following after that. As him and Dustin pulled apart, smiling brightly at each other, Will’s eyes wandered and locked onto Mike’s and suddenly the world around him seemed to melt away.

Mike seemed even taller, if that was humanly possible, and he’d dyed a green stripe into the front of his hair, the sight of which made Will’s stomach flip. He looked good, his eyes were bright and he was real and there and Will could touch him, if he wanted to, which of course he did.

There was a huge, yet soft smile on his face as he looked over at him and Will didn’t know whether he had a stronger urge to cry or vomit.

Mike pulled him close, and Will’s head naturally rested on his chest, their arms wrapping around each other like a second skin. He held Mike as tightly as he could for what felt like an eternity, reaccquainting himself with the beating of his heart and that distinctive but unidentifiable Mike Wheeler smell.

When he eventually pulled back a little, he looked up into Mike’s eyes and tried to bite back tears. He wasn’t sad, as such, more just overcome with emotion, with love.

“Your hair…” is all he managed to say and _really Byers, that’s as eloquent as you can be?_ But it was worth it, because Mike laughed, his arms still encircling Will.

“Yeah I uh, I did that a couple of days ago, mum and dad aren’t too happy with me.” Will laughed, and tried not to notice how cold he suddenly felt when Mike removed his arms from around him. He smiled up at his best friend.

“Well I like it, I think it suits you,” he said.

“I second that!” Max called over, “it looks awesome!” Mike fake bowed and nodded his head.

“I know, I know, thank you all.” Lucas shoved him lightly, but his smile was warm.

“So what exactly is the plan for tonight?” Dustin asked as they all began to walk back towards the house.

“There is no plan, that’s the whole point,” Mike replied and Dustin nodded.

“I can get behind that.”

As it turned out, they all just listened to music and shared stories the entire night, laughing back and forth and yelling at each other. No one believed half the stuff that came out of Dustin’s mouth, despite his protests and his constant insisting that it was all true. Mike told the funniest tales and Lucas had his fair share of exciting adventures to tell, but the wildest stories definitely came from Max. Will couldn’t believe some of the stuff she’d gotten up to!

They were loud enough at times that Mrs. Wheeler had to come downstairs and tell them to keep it down, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face, despite the disruption. It was so comforting for Will to be back in the Wheelers basement, surrounded by his friends laughter, the memories of his childhood merging with the hopes he had for his future.

It was so good to all be back together again, the six of them, causing havoc and creating memories, just as they always had done.

Sometime around 2am, Mike sneaked out the door and Will knew he had gone for a cigarette. He debated whether or not to follow him, to sit up with him on the roof once again and contemplate the stars together.

After a very long minute, he stood up slowly and walked towards the door, taking one last look behind him. Dustin, Max and Lucas were too involved in a heated debate to notice him, but Eleven locked eyes with him and raised an eyebrow.

Will blushed, and shrugged, and stepped through the door.

He remembered the path up onto the Wheeler’s garage roof, and Mike didn’t even look over at him before he greeted him.

“Hey, Will,” he said quietly, the ghost of a smile on his lips. Will sat down next to him.

“Hey Mike.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Mike stubbing out his first cigarette and lighting another.

“I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other,” he said suddenly, “I know it was mostly my fault, but promise me we’ll never go that long without seeing each other again?” he asked, and suddenly he was looking right at Will, his eyes full of hope and guilt and love.

Will’s brain stopped working.

He opened and closed his mouth, unable to form the words he wanted, unsure of which words he even wanted to form. Looking into the eyes of his best friend, the boy he had loved for so many years, underneath the dark and starlit sky, Will wanted to tell him everything. He wanted to lean over and kiss him and mutter against his lips how much he loved him, how much he had always loved him, how much he wanted to be with him, to hold his hand and wake up next to him and make him laugh and make him moan.

But Will froze. He couldn’t say everything he wanted to, fear gripping at his chest like ice. He saw uncertainty creep into Mike’s eyes and said the only thing he could.

“I promise, Mike. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just For Clarification And Future Reference:
> 
> Will – Illustration @ RISD (Rhode Island School of Design)  
> Lucas - Computer Engineering and Computer Science @ USC (University of Southern California)  
> Dustin – Microbiology @ Purdue  
> Mike – Psychology Major, Physics Minor @ NYU (New York University)  
> Max – Philosophy Major, Gender and Women’s Studies Minor @ Stanford  
> Eleven – Anthropology Major, Creative Writing Minor @ Northwestern
> 
> Johnathan – Photography & Imaging @ NYU (Tisch)  
> Nancy – Political Science Major, Women’s, Gender & Sexuality Studies Minor @ Yale
> 
> please let me know what you thought of the chapter!!! and my choice for what everyone is studying and where bc i spent hours doing research...


	2. we will all be judged by the courage of our hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thought he might have a panic attack sat there in the Wheeler’s fucking basement. Not just because Mike was looking at him, it wasn’t that simple, but because Mike was looking at him with that _something_ in his eyes. It made Will feel sick with a hope that he knew at this point he shouldn’t have, a hope that maybe Mike is his after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT HAS BEEN OVER A YEAR SINCE I UPDATED THIS, I AM THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD I AM SO SORRY!!!!
> 
> life got hectic and writing took a back seat and then it became harder and harder to get back into it... but i PROMISE i will update this again soon... you can hunt me down with pitchforks if i don't...
> 
> please let me know what you thought of this chapter, and whether you even care about this story anymore! i am so so sorry i left it for so long, but i'm back!! i promise, i promise!!
> 
> (if you read any of my other stories, then they'll be updated soon too!!)
> 
> enjoy!!! ♥

Will was staring at Mike’s bike, which stood discarded in a dark corner of the basement, as his friends continued to chatter around him. They were all sat around in a circle, mostly on the floor, passing alcohol back and forth between them and slowly starting to slur the words they uttered. There was music pulsing through the air, as loud as they liked considering that Ted and Karen were away, but often interrupted as they argued over what to play. 

 

“Do you remember when we cycled everywhere? We couldn’t have lived without those things,” he said suddenly, nodding towards the bike. They all smiled, glancing over at the symbol of their childhood.

 

“God I know, it seems so weird to think of us cycling everywhere now when we can just drive,” Lucas replied. Will laughed slightly.

 

“Thank god for cars,” Dustin called out, leading to a chorus of ‘amen!’ flooding the room.

 

Will was sat on the old, haggard sofa that had somehow still survived all these years, and as he watched Dustin and Max argue over whether or not they should play Red Hot Chili Peppers on the speaker, he felt a warmth in his chest. It might have been a little bit to do with the small volume of alcohol he had drank that night, but he knew it was mostly because of the love for his friends. These people and these surroundings were so familiar and they invoked such a fierce fondness in Will that it burnt like a nurturing fire in his chest.

 

Being here with them all made him feel a sense of comfort and calm he didn’t think he could ever feel anywhere else. It was an overwhelming feeling of being  _ home _ , in every sense of the word.  

 

Mike was sat on the floor next to Will, leaning against his legs, and Will was trying to ignore the heat that radiated from where their bodies met. It was totally casual intimacy, and the kind of stuff he and Mike had done all their lives, but in the last couple of years he’d had to focus extra hard on not losing his mind when his best friend was this close to him. It made Will feel guilty sometimes, the way his heart fluttered and his stomach warmed when Mike touched him. His friend didn’t know that he had all this going on inside his head (and his heart) and it made Will feel dirty almost that nobody knew. In a way, he was lying to the people he cared for most.

 

He felt Mike nudge him slightly and he looked down towards him. He was smiling up at Will softly, holding a bottle of whiskey out towards him. Will shook his head, but took it anyway and waved it in front of Dustin’s face until he grabbed it and took a swig. 

 

Mike laughed, leaning his head on Will’s leg, and Will felt his stomach dissolve into a pit of writhing snakes, his leg burning white hot where Mike was resting his head. He didn’t know where to put his hands or whether to say anything, but he knew he had to look down at him. 

 

When he did, Mike was staring up at him, his wide, brown eyes glistening with alcohol and fondness, a small smile on his lips, and Will’s entire body ached. All he had ever wanted was for those eyes to look into his with that little something  _ more  _ glistening within them, and right now the alcohol and the dim lights made it seem that maybe it was there, just for a second.

 

Will couldn’t breathe.

 

He thought he might have a panic attack sat there in the Wheeler’s fucking basement. Not just because Mike was looking at him, it wasn’t that simple, but because Mike was looking at him with that  _ something _ in his eyes. It made Will feel sick with a hope that he knew at this point he shouldn’t have, a hope that maybe Mike is his after all.

 

He smiled down at him, heart pounding and chest aching, panicking with the effort to try and hide his panic. He didn’t know what to do and he didn’t want Mike to see what was hidden behind his eyes, so in a moment of pure impulse he nudged Dustin and gestured towards the whiskey. Dustin shrugged and handed it to him, Will taking a big swig and regretting it the moment he felt the burn in his throat, the foul taste on his tongue and the cough working its way up his chest. 

 

“Damn Will, what’s gotten into you?” Lucas asked, laughing. Everyone else joined in and Will managed to feign some laughter in between the coughs. 

 

“Might as well join in, I guess.” Dustin chucked an arm around him and planted a kiss on his temple, causing everyone else to cheer and Will to pull away, laughing. 

 

When he looked down at Mike, he was looking up at Will with a crease in his brow and concern dancing in his eyes.

 

***

 

  
“I didn’t think you were much of a drinker,” Mike said suddenly.

 

It had been three days since their night of revelry in the basement, but this was the first Mike had spoken of it. 

 

They were sat on the roof of the Wheeler’s garage, the smoke from the cigarette in Mike’s hand drifting off and blending into the sunset. The orange and pink and red of the burning sky was laid out in front of them so perfectly it was like the painted set of an old movie, and Will tried not to blush as he stared out into the distance and away from the boy sat next to him.

 

“I just spent a year at college, I’m okay with drinking sometimes,” is all he said in reply. Mike hummed and blew out smoke, both of them watching it mix with the tension and the humid summer air.

 

“Just because you’re at college doesn’t mean you  _ have _ to drink,” he replied. Will didn’t know what to say, and he suddenly felt guilty, like he’d done something he shouldn’t have, and he felt stupid for doing it. He wasn’t reckless. Mike was reckless, Dustin was reckless, Steve was reckless, Nancy was reckless when she wanted to be. Will? He was cautious, careful, sometimes to a fault, sometimes in a way that filled him with an embarrassment and shame.

 

Will wasn’t  _ brave _ . He was a coward.

 

“I just… don’t want you to feel pressured into doing anything you don’t really want to just because everyone else is. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Mike said it quietly, and Will’s heart felt both light and heavy at the same time as he stared at the sunset.  

 

“Thanks Mike,” is all he said quietly in reply. They both sat and watched the sky slowly swirl and morph into another version of itself, and they both silently wished that somehow, they could do the same. There was so much left unspoken between them and Will could feel it, but he chalked it up to the fact they hadn't seen each other in a while, and pushed down the sickening hope that once again bubbled in his stomach.

 

“But hey, I’ll take a cigarette if you really want me to,” he said suddenly, breaking the tension. Mike laughed and pushed his hair back from his face. 

 

“I’d die before I let you start smoking, Byers.”

 

***

 

Jonathan was sprawled out on the sofa reading what Will was sure was some depressing, pretentious novel, his face blank apart from a slight crease in his brow. Will walked over and nudged him with his knee.

 

“What?” Jonathan asked, not looking up from the page.

 

“Move, I wanna watch a film and you’re in the best seat for watching TV and your not even  _ watching _ it.” Jonathan smirked slightly.

  
“Maybe you should read a book once in awhile,” is all he said in reply. Will nudged him again, harder this time.

 

“Get lost, I read plenty.” Jonathan said nothing, but he moved over on the sofa, eyes still glued to the words in front of him.

 

“Maybe you should look up from a book once in awhile,” Will teased, smiling. Jonathan just raised his right hand and flipped him off, causing Will to laugh.

 

Minutes passed, and Will was still absentmindedly flicking through the film channels, trying to choose what to watch. He thought maybe it was just nice to shut down after so many months of constant work and studying at college, to not worry and stress and have things hanging over your head every minute of every day. He smiled slightly because he was  _ allowed _ to just relax for a while, and it felt good.

 

“You never told me if you made any friends at college,” Jonathan said suddenly. Will looked over at him and sure enough, he still hadn’t taken his eyes off the book.

 

Will blinked twice, slightly shocked by the sudden sentence. He moved his legs to bend them up under himself, as if curling up for protection, and shrugged one shoulder.

 

“Um, I made a few… acquaintances, I guess? No real  _ friends _ , if you know what I mean. One guy called Mark I hang out with a lot, he’s cool.”

 

Jonathan nodded. 

 

“I don’t know if you’ll ever find friends like the ones you made growing up here, you guys have a freakish kind of bond.” Will snorted. He knew it was true though - the friends he made in this town where the truest friends he would ever have, no matter how far apart they may be.

 

“Did you meet any boys at college?” Jonathan asked, eyes still not moving from the page of the book in front of him.

 

Will’s chest felt warm in a pleasant and slightly nervous kind of way. He loved to hear his friends and family talk so casually about him liking boys, it made sunlight burst in chest with the knowledge that it’s  _ okay _ , he’s okay. Yet, even though he knew he had their love and support, it still made him a little nervous to discuss things like that with anyone. He’d only ever had a crush on Mike, and the only person he’d ever kissed was Rachel Evans at a middle school dance, which wasn’t exactly fireworks and Nicholas Sparks material.

 

“Uh, no,” he replied, voice as loud as he could make it, “No boys. There’s some cute ones, but none I really care about.” Jonathan nodded; Will continued flicking through the channels.

 

He saw Jonathan's arm drop so the book was resting in his lap, but he didn’t turn to look at him. Will's stomach twisted slightly and he knew Jonathan was going to say something uncomfortable.

 

“Any boys here in Hawkins?” he asked. 

 

Will took a sharp intake of breath which wasn’t quite a gasp, and he knew Jonathan heard it. His heart sped up and his hand froze on the remote, the TV stuck showing some old black and white movie, the colourless people milling around in some corporate office. Will focused on them, and not on his brother, who was still looking ahead, book resting on his lap. 

 

Did he know? He must know, he wouldn’t of asked if he didn’t. It makes sense really, he is Will’s big brother after all, and he knows him as well as he knows himself, but it still made Will’s stomach clench painfully at the thought of someone, anyone, knowing his secret. He felt his chest and face grow warm with shame, feeling like someone who had been caught in the middle of doing something they shouldn’t of been. 

 

It was several minutes before Will realised he should probably reply to the question, knowing his silence gave away more than any answer he could give.

 

He swallowed, hand flexing unconsciously against the remote as he very slowly straightened his legs out again.

 

“Maybe,” he muttered, heart pounding. Jonathan turned to look at him then, and Will felt his cheeks start to burn, unable to look back at him.

 

“Will, I’m your big brother and I won’t push you, but you can’t hide anything from me.” 

 

Will felt a laugh catch in his throat before he sighed and slowly looked over at Jonathan.

 

“Please don’t make me say it,” he pleaded, and Jonathan’s eyes looked so pitying Will felt sick.

 

“You have to talk to him. You can’t just not say anything Will, even if you’re scared. You have to be honest.”

 

Will opened his mouth to respond, not knowing what he was even going to say, when they heard the key in the lock and Will’s eyes widened. He shook his head at Jonathan, telling him to drop it, and his brother nodded, Will’s heart still pounding.

 

Jonathan knowing was one thing, but his mother? He couldn’t bare the thought of her concerned gaze, her passionate reassurances, her anxious theorising; her knowing would only make it worse.

 

“Hello boys!” Joyce greeted them as she entered, dumping some shopping bags in the kitchen before coming to kiss them both on the top of their heads, “what are you watching?”

 

***

 

“Honestly, how did we entertain ourselves in Hawkins for all those years? Now I’ve lived in a proper city, this place is boring as shit! There’s nothing here!” Dustin emphasised his point by gesturing wildly at the street around them as they exited the movie theatre. The others laughed and started walking towards where Mike’s car was parked. Will shrugged, dangling his legs as he walked, balancing on the edge of the pavement.

 

“We were younger back then, we had imaginations and at the time, that was enough,” he replied. Dustin shot him a glare as Lucas nodded and Mike smiled over at him.

 

“We still have imaginations,” he said, a little too excitedly, “wanna head over to the junkyard?” The others whooped in agreement and all piled into Mike’s car, Will sitting with him upfront and the other four crammed into the back, Max half sat on Lucas’ lap.

 

“What exactly are we gonna do at the junkyard?” Lucas asked, slightly sceptical. Mike shrugged slightly, as he turned the key in the ignition.

 

“Just… let our imaginations run away with us, I guess.” Lucas rolled his eyes.

 

“It was cool to run around there and pretend we were superheroes when we were kids, but now we’re older, it seems the only people we’ll be saving is the junkies.” Mike laughed as he turned the corner at the end of the street.

 

“Well, at least we might score some good smack.”

 

***

 

It was weird seeing the junkyard again. The old school bus was still there, stood proud and rusting against the early evening sun, and Will smiled at the sight of it.

 

He remembers being twelve, speeding on their bikes to get over here and jumping into the bus as soon as they arrived. It was their base camp, their Batcave, their secret lair, and from it they conquered everything before them. Nothing could harm them inside the bus, it sheltered them and weathered all storms, and even though it was stupid, seeing it now still made a feeling of calmness and safety overcome him.

 

“It looks much more like a… nasty field of junk than I remember,” El said, glancing around.

 

“It was always a nasty field of junk, but it was  _ our  _ nasty field of junk,” Dustin replied. He was looking out at everything with a slightly awed look on his face and it made Will grin.

 

“I wish we were all twelve again, without a care in the world,” he said quietly. Dustin turned and smiled at him. 

 

“Me too.”

 

***

 

They wandered around for a while, prodding at things like car parts and rotting wood and laughing at the fact they actually spent a large part of their childhood here. Before long, they had piled into the bus and sat at the back on the ragged seats, ignoring the general state of decay the entire vehicle was in. It was strange to look around and see them all in here again, looking so different and grown up and yet somehow identical. They were still the same, in a lot of ways; their personalities had evolved, they had more life experiences under their belts and they were (hopefully) wiser than they once were, but they were still just a bunch of misfits from a small town in Indiana. Most importantly, despite time and distance, they still had each other.

 

“How many girls did you make out with at college?” Dustin asked Max, incredulous and clearly quite impressed. She merely shrugged and smiled over at him.

 

“A few. Definitely more than you.” They all laughed and Lucas kicked Dustin in the leg, earning him a punch in the arm.

 

“I'm not denying that,” Dustin replied, raising his hands in defeat.

 

They had somehow stumbled onto talking about kissing and sex and relationships and it all made Will feel very, very nervous. He knew they could all probably pick up on that, but he knew they wouldn't push him and he could always play it off and say it's because he's never kissed a guy, and absolutely nothing to do with the guy sat next to him right now.

 

“I honestly never thought any of us would be kissing girls, or boys, in college. It seemed like we would be kids forever,” El said quietly.

 

“We were so young and innocent,” Lucas replied.

 

“What about you Mike? Kiss many girls at college?” 

 

Will’s body ran cold at Dustin’s sudden question. He most definitely did  _ not _ want to hear about any girls that Mike had been kissing, but he knew there would be some. I mean, how could there not be? Mike was funny and kind and so fucking pretty and Will shook his head to try and stop the blush from keeping onto his cheeks.

 

“A few,” Mike replied, offering a half shrug. Dustin’s face broke into a devious grin and Will had a feeling he wouldn’t like what came next.

 

“Kiss any boys at college?” 

 

Oh fuck.

 

The question was bad enough, the thought of girls kissing Mike hurt, but the thought of Mike kissing another boy? That nearly tore Will apart.

 

Mike smirked and Will thought that this is how he would die, of heartbreak and jealousy in the back of a rusty old school bus.

 

“No, no boys.” 

 

Will felt slight relief for a second but then Mike smiled right over at him and he somehow forgot how to smile back.

 

“What about you Will? Kiss any boys,” Mike asked and Will’s mind replied with  _ is that an offer?  _ but his mouth showed some self control.

 

He looked down at his hands and swallowed, not wanting to admit what he knew he had to.

 

“No. I’ve actually never, uh, kissed a guy.”

 

The last thing Will wanted to do was look up at his friends. He knew they would be fine about it, that they wouldn’t judge him (they never did), but he still felt such an intense shame at being a 19 year old virgin who had never even properly kissed anyone. It seemed pathetic, and Will had always been the small and weak one at school and he so desperately longed to rid himself of that reputation.

 

It never occurred to him that it was only ever him that saw himself that way.

 

“That’s cool dude, you just have to find the right guy,” Dustin said. Will looked up at him and saw the rest of his friends nodding and Mike smiling at him and he suddenly felt calmer.

 

“Yeah, like that’s easy,” he replied. They laughed and continued to question each other about how much action they’d had at college and Will thought the spotlight light was off of him finally, but suddenly, Mike leaned over to whisper in his ear.

 

“You’ll find someone,” he said softly, “anyone would be lucky to have you.”

 

Will was almost certain he was going to pass out. He tried to stop his cheeks from heating up but he failed, feeling his heart going 200 miles per hour in his chest. He looked down as his lap, unable to stop a smile and a slight blush from creeping onto his face.

 

“Thanks, Mike.”

 

He knows Mike was only saying it as a friend, to reassure him and comfort him, but his mind was already taunting him with questions like  _ what if he does like you? what if he’s saying that because  _ he _ wants to be with you? _ and Will pushed them down. He had accepted his fate, had learned to live with the knowledge that he would always love Mike in a way that would never be reciprocated. There were worse things to be dealing with, and just being friends with Mike, just being close to him, having him at all, was enough.

 

He looked back round at his friends just as Lucas was regaling some tale about an awful Tinder date he’d been on, and begin to laugh along with them again like he had nothing to hide.

 

***

 

Will didn’t know what time it was, but he knew it was late. He’d fallen asleep at 11pm, exhausted after the afternoon they’d all spent in the junkyard, but now he was half awake, confused, annoyed, and frantically reaching around to try and find his ringing phone.

 

The first thing he noticed was the time, 2:09am, and he felt unnaturally annoyed in his sleep clouded state. Before he could get annoyed enough to yell a lot, he saw who was calling, and felt any trace of annoyance leave his body.

 

“Hey Mike, what’s up? Is everything okay?” 

 

He suddenly feels very awake, panic filling his chest as all the reasons Mike could be calling him at 2am flooded his mind, all the disasters and accidents and emergencies that could have occured playing out before him like a horror show. 

 

It felt like an age before Mike replied, but in reality, it was mere seconds.

 

“Hey Will, I’m good don’t worry. I just wondered if you wanna go for a drive?” 

 

Will opened his mouth in shock, not really sure how to respond. Why the fuck was Mike calling him at two o’clock in the morning and asking if he wanted to go for a  _ drive _ ? What could he possibly want to drive to in Hawkins at this time of night? What was going on?

 

“I… Mike, it’s two o’clock in the morning.”

 

He hears Mike’s familiar and syrupy sweet laugh on the other end of the phone, and suddenly taking a random drive at 2am doesn’t seem like such a crazy idea.

 

“I know, but I couldn’t sleep and we haven’t had a chance to catch up yet, just the two of us, so I thought we could just… drive. Sorry if you want to get back to sleep.”

 

“No!” Will replied, almost too eagerly, “it sounds great, i’ll just um, get dressed. Are you driving to mine?”

 

The line was silent for a second.

 

“I’m kind of already here.” 

 

Will felt his chest turn warm as he laughed. Mike had driven all the way to his to talk to him when he couldn't sleep, Will was the one he wanted with him when he was driving aimlessly in the middle of the night, and for some reason this felt so intimate to him, like Mike was showing him a part of himself he wouldn’t show to anyone else.

 

“I’ll be out in a second,” he said before hanging up.

 

He got dressed in record speed and crept out of his house as quietly as he could, reassured by Jonathan’s snores echoing throughout the house.

 

When he got outside, he saw Mike leaning against the side of his car, smiling at him, and his heart spasmed in his chest.

 

“Sorry to wake you,” he whispered when Will got close. 

 

He smiled up at him.

 

“You can wake me whenever you like. Where are we going?”

 

Mike shrugged and walked around the car to climb into the driver's seat.

 

“Wherever the night takes us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologise AGAIN for leaving this fic for so long... you're all angels and i hope you're still interested in reading this!!! ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Just For Clarification And Future Reference:
> 
> Will – Illustration @ RISD (Rhode Island School of Design)  
> Lucas - Computer Engineering and Computer Science @ USC (University of Southern California)  
> Dustin – Microbiology @ Purdue  
> Mike – Psychology Major, Physics Minor @ NYU (New York University)  
> Max – Philosophy Major, Gender and Women’s Studies Minor @ Stanford  
> Eleven – Anthropology Major, Creative Writing Minor @ Northwestern
> 
> Johnathan – Photography & Imaging @ NYU (Tisch)  
> Nancy – Political Science Major, Women’s, Gender & Sexuality Studies Minor @ Yale
> 
> please let me know what you thought of the chapter!!! and my choice for what everyone is studying and where bc i spent hours doing research...


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